The Art of Presents

How I learned to give the gift of myself.

𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨. 😕

All I wanted was presence. 

Call me ungrateful. I was 11. 

I was an only child, who lived very happily in my own little bubble with his single mother.  

Then a belligerent stepfather came barging through the front door of my freedom, and shortly after tossed a newborn my way.  

I knew that I would have to shoulder the burden of taking care of my sister with my mother and protect her from the thrashing of an out-of- control man. 

I would have put that innocent smiley face on, just like I would have to put together that model car and pretend like I enjoyed it. 

Maybe that’s why I never really liked Christmas the way it is now. 

At its modern core, it’s been more about getting than giving. 

When others get things from us, we expect them to reciprocate by way of appreciation. 

However true gifts are given freely, not gotten through unspoken contract. 

The gift is the gain of the giver, more than that of the receiver. 

Art is such a gift.  

You can never create true art or lasting work if you expect something in return.  

That’s called commerce, and there’s no love in that. 

Marriages and partnerships have that commercial nature about them as well. 

Many partners live out ledger relationships, always playing tit for tat. 

These relationships are a zero-sum game, with a shallow comprehension of what everyone can truly bring to the table. 

Meaningful relationships don’t have to be long-term ones, but they do have emotional depth. 

Each partner gives of themselves and doesn’t expect anything in return. 

I decided to give myself the gift of responsibility that Christmas. 

I wasn’t expecting praise, or anyone to notice. 

I may not have liked the situation, but I did respect my sister, and honored myself enough to be present with the circumstance. 

I still chose to give my all. 

Did I have to? 

No. 

Did I put in enough effort? 

To this day, I don’t know.  

What I do know is that I’ve learned to give from an open heart, rather than from a closed fist of resentment. 

I would learn that honoring my own commitments was the most potent drug I could self-medicate with in the years to come… 

Don’t compromise. Seek 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵.

Love,

Roman

Follow #womansman if you're interested in learning about more techniques that will allow you to harness the full potential of your mind, body, and relationships! 

Don’t compromise. Seek 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵.

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