The Hot Sands of Truth

Loyalty is Betrayal's Elixir

“What’s the password for your email?”

Sweating bullets onto the unforgiving July heat island of pavement known as the northern New Jersey strip mall parking lot, I told her.

I had pulled the plug on my own hand grenade of lies, and lost myself in a thousand-yard stare into the potholes I had created with the mortar fire of addiction.

As the last scalding drop from the melting plastic bottle that had sat in my car all day evaporated on my tongue, I was left in my own desolate desert of lies.

I knew I would have to surrender to the heat of my truth’s crucible.

I would have to face not only the loved woman I hurt, but I would have to rip open the emotional callouses of numb denial that I had built up as protection for far too long.

I had spent the past year scrolling online, chatting and looking at other women, because I was unfulfilled in my relationship.

I had tried to be the hero who had already torn his achilles heel.

The hero who tried to heal the damsel in distress with his rigged armor on.

The hero who couldn’t drown out the song of his own Sirens.

I had done time in my own prison of comfort, sipping and smoking away my feelings.

So I checked in at the gates of surrender, expecting the wrath of God.

I was met with the grace and mercy of an angel instead.

This God of Unconditional Love took my hand, and helped me leap into a new life.

Her name was Kristyn.

Even though I had betrayed her, she would remain loyal.

She honored our relationship by listening to my shattered truth, and even helped me research healing centers where I could deal with all of my life’s past trauma.

Like the Valkyrie, she had chosen this slain hero with a trust to keep fighting in the afterlife of his addictions’ armageddon.

I honored her trust with loyalty to Self.

I checked myself into The Life Healing Center, where I burned the deadwood letters to my past self and my abusers.

Even though I had bought a one-way ticket to New Mexico, I eventually came back to my hometown.

However I don’t feel like it’s home anymore.

I crafted my new home of the heart out in the desert of New Mexico, where the sands ran hot with truth, yet hope of a new life sprang eternal.

Thank you Kristyn for the immortal soul you helped me to keep.

I love you.

Roman

Don’t compromise. Seek 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵.