Waiting For My New Life to Begin

When Guilt Dies, The Heart is Reborn

Seven Halloweens ago, I crossed the threshold of a hotel ballroom, and into a dance of a new life.

My old life had ended, and a new one was beginning.

The night of our wedding flew by, as we gathered treats of joy and laughter in our heart’s purses and showered our guests with sweets of short speech.

My wife had done much of the planning and emotional labor leading up to the event, and was always good at taking on too much…which would be her downfall

I was a blissful passenger, failing to appreciate the brilliant scenery on a fun bus that was barreling too quickly down the bourbon boulevard of my new life…

Then a thriller of potholes and volcanic turbulence came crashing the party.

Ghoulish drama ensued as certain family members didn’t get along, and were horrified that certain guests were invited.

Some family even decided to leave altogether and abandon their speech.

Just as I felt like I was approaching an event horizon of a new life, the bus driver called Guilt jerked my heart into a U-turn, and began to usher my soul into the House of the Old.

Antique grievances.

Vintage guilt.

Obsolete expectations….

All chaining me back to a primordial past of an unrelenting fire that sparked a civilization of uncivil heartache.

I was a husband now, but guilt allowed me to feel like a little boy whose hand was caught in the cookie jar of adulthood, and whose joy was now going to have to go to his room.

I couldn’t wait to get on our honeymoon, and back on that fun bus once more.

My wife and I embarked on another adventure, far removed from grizzled melodrama that we thought we’d forgot.

Yet those primeval feelings of shame and betrayal by family members was harder to rub off than costume makeup.

We had our own thresholds to cross now as well.

On our honeymoon my wife broke down from burnout.

All of the masks she wore through her life of people-pleasing and fulfilling the expectations of society began to fall away, and her heart was left exposed to the cold winds of change.

We were staying at a beautiful farmhouse in Italy, as I began to see her convulse and shout out the past.

I knew in earnest that our new life had begun.

Yet this life didn’t have a new car smell.

Other passengers had travelled this road, and the seats were worn like the bus of public transit.

Our right to enjoy our honeymoon became a rite of passage.

We were eventually able to rub and smear that vampiric makeup off our faces - together.

We’ve been on a journey of a new life together ever since, and have been building our own fun bus, upholstering the seats with leather cured with the raw power of Love.

Today we embark again on a new adventure.

Like Halloween 7 years ago, today is a day of not only new beginnings, but of a transition.

Today we live in the present moment of the in-between, as the two worlds of past and present collide.

Today we celebrate our past by contributing to a regenerative future.

Today we work together to create a space of healing and empathy for those who have their own rites of passage to take through darker valleys of mental anguish.

Today we build. Today.

Don’t compromise. Seek 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵.

Up for a challenge?

Join us for the 21-day Regenerate Program!

You'll learn how to:

⚡ Restore Sleep

⚡ Amplify Metabolism

⚡Enhance Mental Clarity

I, along with co-host and Women's Holistic Wellness Coach Bohdanna Diduch will teach you how to use the FREE energy all around us, so that you can cultivate your inner fire all winter long.

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Registration closes Nov 1st 12pm EST:

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